Welcome!
by DainoChild
Summary: Black takes N home to meet his mother. Naturally, it is awkward, but not in the ways Black expected. Oneshot, definitely Isshushipping.


_Everybody loves introducing their significant other to their parents, don't they?  
><em>

_This story is a stand-alone sequel to my multi-chapter fic 'Stalk in the Name of Love'. You don't have to have read SitNoL to understand it, but it references the events of that fic. Vaguely._

_Hope you enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Welcome<strong>

It was a little hard to believe that Black hadn't set foot in Nuvema for eighteen months. Everything was as it had been and, for the first few steps, Black felt like he was sixteen again.

Then N walked up to him and remarked, "My castle is bigger than your entire town" and Black remembered that everything was different, it just looked the same.

"Sure it is," Black replied. "Erm. Do you really wanna meet my mother?"

"Of course. It said in that '_Dating for Dummies_' book your twin so charmingly gave me that all serious romantic partners must be introduced to one's parents. You've met Ghetsis, therefore it's my turn."

Black rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, Mom's not gonna try and kill you or your Pokémon."

"Good," N said. "I had gained the impression that that was a non-standard practice, but it's better to be assured of their safety now than concerned for it throughout the meeting."

Black thought it best not to tell N how much his mother disapproved of him dating a twenty-one-year-old manchild. Or how much she probably did. He hadn't really talked to her about it.

"Okay," he said instead. "My house is this way."

"Of course it is. Everything in the town is this way. There's only one street." N shook his head sadly. "No wonder you're so lacking in education. Can we leave almost immediately?"

Black had found it increasingly easy to ignore N's more insulting remarks. It was best to regard them as bids for attention. Then Black could just roll his eyes and grab N's hand, as he did in this situation.

Unfortunately, that seemed to mean that N came to view the affection as a reward rather than an act of frustration. Black wasn't sure when he would ever win when it came to N (outside of Pokémon battles, that was).

"I miss the snow already," N said mournfully as they walked over the grass.

"You complained about it the whole time we were in Sinnoh."

"It was cold, yes, but it still looked remarkably pleasant."

Black felt his lip twitch. "There's my house," he said, pointing. It looked the same as ever; brown, blue roofed and, by the neatly cut grass and carefully tended to flowers in the garden, the large green letterbox marked number 3.

"It's smaller than my bedrooms," N remarked.

"…rooms?"

"Yes, you only saw the toy room," N matter-of-factly replied. "There were two others through hidden entrances."

"One behind the skate ramp and the other behind the basketball hoop-thing?"

N glared. "You're very luck with your guesses."

Black reached into the letterbox, pulled out the stack of letters (bills) and, after a deep, reassuring breath, opened the front door. "Mom! I'm home!"

"That's great, honey!" Mom called back. "Did you bring your little boyfriend?"

"Little?" N irritably muttered.

"Yeah Mom," Black loudly said.

Footsteps thundered from above. "Mom! Is that Black?"

"Yes dear."

White dashed down the stairs, ran across the living room and threw her arms around Black. As she hugged him so tightly Black wondered how many ribs had fractured, White looked at N and said, "Not worried that I'm stealing your man, are you?"

"I know what incest is," N coolly replied. "Your being twins does not make it acceptable in any situation."

White laughed and pulled away. "How was Sinnoh?"

"Good," Black started to reply.

At the same time, N declared, "I found a Pokémon worthy of you. Since Black was apparently having issues."

White raised her eyebrows. "Ooh, really? That's sweet of you, N."

Black knew nothing of this. He watched suspiciously as N handed over a PokéBall, desperately hoping it wasn't one of the Carnivine they'd been chased by in the Great Marsh. White seemed suspicious too; she examined the PokéBall for a moment too long before pressing the button. The Ball burst open, and in the resulting flash of light, appeared a bidoof.

"I think it suits you," N innocently said.

Black's face met his palm.

"Aww!" White cooed. She scooped the bidoof into her arms. "I love it! Look at how cute it is, Black! Look!"

When White dashed off to show Mom, Black muttered to N, "You thought she was going to be offended, didn't you?"

"I'd hoped," N admitted.

White was still cradling the bidoof when she returned, and this time, Mom followed her. Mom smiled warmly and pulled Black into her arms.

"Oh, Hilbert, it's been so long…"

"Mom, don't call me that," Black muttered. He could tell N was laughing at him.

"It doesn't matter how famous you become or how many times you save the world, you'll always be my baby Hilly."

White was laughing now, too.

Black pulled out of the hug and returned to N's side. "This is N, Mom. Remember him?"

"The one who tried to take over the world?"

"Yeah."

Mom nodded with a smile. "It's very nice to meet you, N. I've heard so much about you." She glared at Black. "From Hilda, anyway."

"You don't talk about me?" N asked Black, clearly hurt.

"I do!" Black insisted. "I just don't rant about everything like White does."

"Shameful," White sighed, scratching the bidoof's head. "Any proud boyfriend would."

N huffed.

Black glared and irritably asked, "When have I ever been talkative about anything?"

Silence.

"It's still shameful," White said.

Black groaned in frustration. "Mom, I didn't call much because calls from Sinnoh cost a fortune. N, I didn't talk much about you because calls from Sinnoh cost a fortune."

N still looked irritated.

"…and because I value your privacy so much," Black added hopefully.

N didn't look so irritated any more. "I want to see your room," he declared. "You saw mine."

"Uh, okay," Black said.

Mom leant close and whispered, "I bought you a box of condoms, just to be prepared."

"_Mom_!"

To celebrate Black's return, and to try and impress N ("He grew up in a castle, he must've always eaten well," Mom had whispered as she got Black to set the table), Mom had Black help her cook dinner. This unfortunately meant leaving N unsupervised with White. N never seemed to have recovered from his jealous misconceptions about Black's relationship with White — that's to say, N had thought they were lovers, not twins, and had been sulking about being wrong ever since.

N's mind worked in mysterious ways.

"Mom," Black firmly said before she called them for dinner, "you've got to promise me that you won't ask about Team Plasma, or anything to do with them."

"Of course," Mom said. "I wouldn't."

"Good, because it still upsets him a lot. And don't get weirded out by anything he says. He learnt social skills from sociology textbooks."

Ten minutes into dinner, Mom asked N, "So, what was it like growing up in a castle?"

Black groaned.

"Cold," N said, tone matching the adjective. "It was underground and built using Pokémon slave labour, thanks to the stupidity of my so-called father." He looked at Mom. "Have you heard about the Pokémon liberation?"

"_N_," Black groaned.

"I'd love to hear all about it," Mom said.

Black froze mid-protest. That was unexpected. Nobody ever wanted to hear about the Pokémon liberation.

N ranted for hours. Mom listened attentively and asked questions in the pauses. Black tried to pretend to listen, but at some points he had to just exchange looks with White clearly asking, '_Is this really happening_?'

It took nearly three hours, but N actually ran out of things to say. Black hadn't even known that was possible.

"Well, it's late," Mom said. "We'd better head to bed, hadn't we?"

"Yeah," White eagerly said, who'd been asleep at the table not five minutes ago. "Black, Cheren wants to battle you tomorrow. He's been training with Alder."

"Okay," Black yawned. He stood up. "C'mon, N."

N stood up and actually said, "Good night."

"Good night, dear," Mom said. "Any time you want to talk, I'm here."

Halfway up the stairs, N muttered, "Your mother is strange."

"Still wanna leave tomorrow?" Black asked.

N shrugged, which meant 'No, but I won't admit to changing my mind'.

Black smiled.

The next morning, Black dashed down the stairs while N was still waking up to thank Mom.

"It's no problem," she said. "All children go through that phase. You just have to listen."

"Uh, Mom…" Black nervously looked away. "N's twenty-one."

Mom sighed. "Oh, Hilbert. Don't you know older men are the most demanding? Now, if you need any advice…"

They left right after battling Cheren with the excuse that Alder wanted to check up on N. N seemed mournful, but Black had to think of his own sanity.

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><p><em>Parents are awkward. Always.<em>

_Reviews, however, are not awkward. Therefore I'd love some. C:  
><em>


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